Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Rampant Rabbits

Researchers at the Institute of Regenerative Research at Wake Forest University in North Carolina have developed an implant that can transform an impotent rabbit into a rampant buck in less than 60 seconds. Out of every 100 disinterested males treated with this new implant, 83 perk up on sight of a female, and succeed in mating within one minute. Bearing in mind the rate at which rabbits multiply at Cil farm, I can imagine no research project more pointless.

But its not pointless. There are incidental benefits. Professor Antony Atala, the study leader, said the results "suggest that the technology has considerable potential for patients who need penile reconstruction." This article in today's telegraph just appealed to my sense of the ridiculous - but I can see that the technique promises genuine health benefits.

But let's try and think of other potential uses for this scientific breakthrough. For example, could an 'implant' bomb have an offensive military use? Imagine the chaos if an 'implant' scatter bomb was exploded above an enemy city. All our forces would have to do is wait for 60 seconds before just walking in and taking control while 83% of the enemy were otherwise distracted. Any other suggestions (within reason) are welcome.

1 comment:

The Chemist from Wales said...

Your onto something Glyn ... the perceived "sex bomb" has parallels with the old "neutron bomb" idea - nuke them, but don't blast them weapon. So I guess this 'sex bomb' idea is sort of similar: "sex them" but don't blast them.

Part of the idea behind the "neutron bomb" which if memory serves France still has in its nuke arsenal. It's a 'low blast' nuke - meaning most of its offensive energy is in the form of ionizing radiation (e.g., gamma). The theory went: tank crews would be sick and distracted with being sick. Soldiers inside buildings (e.g., barracks) would be rendered very sick. So there would be a huge burden on incoming medics and troops forced to take care of their sick comrades ... or so the theory went. In reality Soviet era troops would be told to avoid or ignore the sick troops and "march onward". This was a time when USSR forces outnumbered Western ground forces in Europe - if memory serves they had a huge tank advantage in terms of numbers.

PS Keep in mind that something that works for a rabbit won't necessarily work the same way in humans ... I remember that line (from a research scientist testing a phenomenally successful drug that essentially cured test mice with rampant cancers: "If you are a mouse and have cancer, we have a cure for you."

PSII The other idea behind the neutron weapon was that once used on enemy forces, friendly forces could quickly occupy the nuked areas as there would be little residue radioactivity - since most of the energy of the weapon goes into generating radiation of the 'wave kind' ... so once its "lights out" ... the radiation is gone (bit like how an X-ray machine works, once it's off there's no residue X-rays to worry).

I guess the same principle would apply in the case of the "sex bomb" weapon - once its degraded, friendly forces can enter the 'sex bombed' areas.